I know, I know – given the increased amount of free time at home we suddenly all have, it seems pretty inexcusable that I wasn’t able to put this post out yesterday as I usually do. Equally inexcusable, you might add, is the fact that this post isn’t about my viewing of a new show or movie, but instead is at least indirectly about the coronavirus pandemic that we’re all probably tired of hearing about. Nonetheless, here I am, unapologetically, and as an excuse for lack of better content all I can provide is this tweet. The ever-looming shadow of COVID-19 has delayed a number of supposed box-office tentpoles, including John Krasinski‘s A Quiet Place Part II (initially set to be released on March 20th, this Friday), F9, No Time to Die, and most recently Black Widow, which wasn’t even originally due out until May 1st. In the most extreme of these cases, international releases had already begun, but either way, summing them up shows that it’s a fairly unprecedented move from Hollywood, and furthermore, this is making no mention of the fact that a number of production schedules have probably been disrupted for films that are a long way away (hope you’re feeling better, Mr. Hanks).
I know this is fake, but I don’t care and I still love it.
With the interests of social distancing and flattening the curve in mind, these moves all make sense, but they do beg the question of where studios go next. Enter Universal, who has in the past few days announced that some of their recent theater releases (Emma., The Hunt, Trolls World Tour, and The Invisible Man, to be specific) will be on demand starting this Friday to rent for $19.99 for 48 hours. Given the average cost of a movie theater ticket these days, and given the fact that most people (for better or for worse) don’t go to the movies alone, this could in theory be a winning concept for Universal and for any other studios that decide to latch onto the idea: people can, for the same if not a lower price point, stay at home in their PJs, grab something from their quickly dwindling supply of quarantine munchies, and flop onto the couch to watch a new release. And sure, you probably aren’t going to get the same audiovisual experience quality-wise as you would at a theater, but with small-scale horror movies like The Invisible Man, does that even really matter? On top of that, there’s no potentially uncomfortable chair (a real problem for my girlfriend, who often has back issues) to contend with, nor the possibility of people texting or being obnoxious while you’re trying to watch (in my estimate, this is a problem now more than ever). Plus, given the 48-hour rental time, you can pause to go to the bathroom, or for hours at a time, or better yet, you can rewatch a movie if you really love it the next day. Twice as nice, in theory. As for the theaters, they can’t really do anything to try to compete with this, given that most of them are currently shuttered.
Me in the toilet paper aisle two days ago.
But naturally, given that I write a blog that more often than not chronicles my trips to AMCs or Regals or Goodrichs, my relationship with the movie theater as a social institution is largely positive. Yes, it’s expensive, and yes, the concessions are absurdly overpriced – in fact, the popcorn is so outrageously marked up that one filmgoer tried (and failed) to sue a theater a while back – but it’s the reality of the business model. I’ll also take this opportunity, hopefully among friends, to publicly admit that I (and I suspect many others) regularly sneak snacks and drinks into the theater. Feel free to send me to the stocks, or at least to blame me in part for the suffering of theaters. But with that fact aside, a brief dissection of the problems being encountered by not just the chains but the local theaters has me wondering whether the cinemas themselves are to blame or the studios are, but either way, I don’t really want them to go the way of the dodo. That’s not to say that I don’t think major changes are coming for them, because they certainly are, but whether that means their complete demise or some middle ground is beyond my narrow field of knowledge.
Me after 25 minutes of self-quarantine.
There are a few things that that middle ground might look like; for one, it might turn into something that directorial giants Steven Spielberg and George Lucas have forebodingly predicted, where going to the movie theater becomes an experience that’s more like going to a Broadway show: higher ticket prices, and fewer, bigger theaters with a lot of bells and whistles. To an extent, we’re already seeing that transformation with theaters adding food and alcohol service, not to mention the recliners, which to be clear are fantastic in my opinion. Another thing this middle ground might look like is something like what has happened to drive-in movie theaters. Once a ubiquitous cultural staple back in the American Graffiti days, they’re now far fewer and have a lengthy list of potential struggles nearly identical to that of the theaters, but there’s more nostalgia and novelty associated with them, and for that reason alone I suspect the ones that have been cagey enough to remain will always have at least some small slice of the entertainment market share. That is, unless the continued crunch of climate change makes sitting in your car to stare at a giant screen in the great outdoors an infeasible proposition.
Maybe what we all need to take our minds off of these trying times is a dry Victorian social drama.
Our ongoing battle with the COVID-19 pandemic is doubtlessly going to stretch – and in certain cases rip into – various social and behavioral constructs that we’ve taken for granted, and maybe the movie theater industry is one of those things. Time will tell if Universal’s gamble on an instant-on-demand distribution method will pay off, but even if it does, and even if other studios follow suit (that would be cool), there’s no telling whether it’s a system that would work effectively in a non-pandemic era. However, with this virus-borne innovation coming somewhat hot on the heels of the theater subscription service craze (started, of course, by my darling Moviepass – gone but not forgotten), what’s clear is that the theater business is due a shakeup, if not a complete disaster. This is only the latest threat to the communal pastime of ingesting media for the first time with a load of strangers, and as cynical as that description of filmgoing might be, I’d be sad to see it go.
Poor Black Widow. Even before this, she deserved better.
As for what I write about here next week, who knows. Maybe I’ll watch The Invisible Man, or maybe I’ll give self-quarantine binge recommendations that I’m sure none of you are really asking for. Over the weekend I fell asleep while watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith, so there wasn’t much to write about there.
Tuesdays with Cory 